Musea would like to offer all artists in every conceivable field of music, art, writing, film, etc. a site that guarantees you a review of your work. No longer do you have to submit your 'art' to hundreds of magazines, websites, newspapers, etc. in hopes that one outlet will give you a brief mention. One mailing, one review. Here's how it works. Put the following three things in a mailer and send it to Musea: 1. The work to be reviewed. 2. Contact information. 3. The processing fee (which is about the price of postage you put on the envelope) = $5 - cash only for each work of art.
When Musea gets it, we'll review it, post the review on alt.zines newsgroup (accessed through google groups) and any other related newsgroups PLUS on a timely basis, we'll repost it on the very huge, no ads - no sponsors - no gov. grants; thousands of hits weekly, Musea website. There it will stay for maybe a year or more.
We guarantee these things. You WILL get a review. You will get a TOUGH review that takes your art seriously. You will get a FAIR review. And you WON'T have to know to anyone to get that review.
We will review anything written: novels, plays, poems, zines, comics, magazines, newspapers, etc. anything drawn or painted : art work, fashion designs, architectural drawings, (photos too), etc.; any website you would like reviewed, anything you can put on VHS tape: performances, plays, concerts, d Zances, TV shows, movies, newscasts, etc. ; or anything on a CD or cassette. We will review your stuff or anyone elses stuff that you want us to.
Now for some extra fine print: SEND ONLY COPIES - you don't get nothing back - no SASE either
ONLY SEND CASH - No checks at this time please.
HINT HINT HINT: I HATE the
following: All bands, any musician who writes his own songs (most
are not very good), conceptual art, (modern art hasn't been
modern in 50 years), any poetry that doesn't make sense,
pretentious lit mags, Hollywood/Corporate Art films, TV, music,
and publishing; ad-driven magazines, and almost all mainstream
media and big city dailies. I LOVE innovation and quality in
every type of art or media!
IMPORTANT: Every work gets 30 MINUTES. That means we'll review 1
song, not a CD, one poem not a chapbook, one chapter not a novel,
one act not a play, one painting not an exhibit, one clothes
design not a line of clothes, etc. Thats enough. That'll get the
word out without boring the readers.
MORE IMPORTANT - posers beware. You can't fake art here and get
away with it.. And don't be whiney this is TOUGH LOVE art
reviews, not refrigerator art that your mommy loves no matter how
bad it is. I RESERVE THE RIGHT to review for free anything that I
find that is extremely good or extremely bad. I also reserve the
right to be the final say on all these rules.
WHO ARE YOU? What is Musea? Are there some reviews I can see? What's the weather like in Dallas? Is 5 a letter? All these and more questions are answered in the hundreds of pages of my zine Musea.
STILL got QUESTIONS? - email me but make it brief and get to the point. OVERALL: "Audition for the World right here. Let the world see your art. Take a chance. Try it. You might be an overnight sensation! Good luck! And remember, even if you stink as an artist, you're still cool for trying!